It's so easy to forget.
I've worked pretty much all my life. When I found out I was pg with baby #3 I quit to be a F/T SAHM. I have loved it. Life has been good.
But I forgot.
I forgot what work was like. So, now I am working again.
My mind is full all the time. There are a million things running through. What to do to finish our last party orders. What to do to get ready for our next party tomorrow. The kids' field trips, home room mom meetings, cub scouts, bringing the boys lunch today for their "lunch with mom" event. Thinking about how am I going to fit in all the work I need to get done today and tomorrow - "don't forget to call this person, bill that person, mail this stuff, work on that stuff."
Don't get me wrong. I REALLY LOVE IT! But I forgot.
I forgot how work fills your mind. How it is rewarding and exhausting. How you live for it and then it lives in you.
I wake up in the middle of the night to make a list of all the things I forgot to do the day before. Sleep isn't fun anymore. It just gets in the way of all the things I need to do.
My sweet DH is a workaholic. He will stay up late or get up early to finish projects. Sometimes he jumps out of bed to write down or email or send a file.
I used to tease him about it. "Relax" I would say. "It will be there tomorrow."
Now I remember. It's not that it won't be there tomorrow. It's just that it may leave your brain by tomorrow. Then you've got a mess on your hands!
When I used to work some days I would come home and collapse. It was all I could do after work to reach across the couch, grab the phone and order a pizza. Then to have to get up and answer the door! Geez! And then finally get up and drag myself to bed.
I forgot about those days.
I know I will get organized and get my brain in order.
It will happen.
But for now, I'm having a full time affair with work. I forgot what a dangerous mistress she is.
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2 comments:
Oh, Laurie, good for you going to work! It's always so hard and exhausting to get acclimated in a new job anyway, without a family to take care of. the mind spinning business is crazy - I can totally relate - and I'm not doing nearly as much as you. It will get easier. Make lists and don't lose them! Once I had a voice activated recorder that I could say (or shriek) something into... it didn't really work for me, but I've heard it works for others :)
Oh, how I can relate to this. Just remember you are not alone!!!! You are doing such a fabulous job in everything you do!!! Remember the hard days make us enjoy the easy days even more!
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